Thursday, February 28, 2013

So last night I broke up with Pandora

I sent this email to Pandora's customer support last night.


I would like to inform you of the awful experience I just had in my shower. You see, I use Pandora when I am in the shower, and I selected the "311" station. I was first given a 311 song, which was lovely. Then a Sublime song, also acceptable. THEN I was given "Imagine" by John Lennon, and this, sir, was over the line! John Lennon has no place in the stoner line up I expected when I stepped into the shower to lather, rinse and jam. As if this was not traumatic enough, I was then expected to some how digest the sounds of Billy Joel howling like a dirty ally cat in "Piano Man"! I had shampoo in my hair and was there for powerless to step out of my shower to turn off my stereo! I am unsure what algorithm Pandora is using to choose songs that sound like 311, but I assure you it is not only broken, but has in fact some how broken free of your central leadership and is now loose on the internet terrorizing women in showers at 3am. I strongly advise you find the source of this madness and stop it immediately before some other unlucky citizen is subjected to the staggering lameness that I have only just barely survived.

Thank you for your time.

Super Ro

PS- I don't even really like 311. And thanks for the free internet tunes!"

So I think this is going to be my new project. Whenever I am made to feel uncomfortable I am going to identify the name brand responsible and contact a customer service representative. I'm going to collect these and post them. Hope you enjoy!

BTW- Pandora did respond with a generic message explaining how I could more specifically customize my stations for a more enjoyable listening experience, and that was nice of them.

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